I’ve been trying to sleep through the night but between my now weak bladder because of my unborn child and my unwanted thoughts. I always end up reaching for my phone. And I’m not to sure why. Not to get on any social networks, not to talk to anyone. But maybe self consciously I’m reaching for you. Through all the pain you’re causing me you’re still the one I’m looking for. And why?. It’s so obvious the love you said you had for me was just a dream that you sold me. So unreal. And I would of never known if I wasn’t awaken by your heartless tone, and unforgettable words. The way you go from I hate you to I love you within the matter of seconds my mind can’t seem to catch up ….but my heart is stuck on I love you. Stupid. I loved you for you and your smile, your eyes when you were and weren’t under the influence, your smell that never changed like the oils were stuck in your skin, and your hair that tickled my face while we slept. Illusion is what that all was. Serious illusion. Even just. Or simply I fell in love with the person you were showing me, and now you’re showing me the person you are. And I hate you. For telling me all that you have “You’re amazing Christine”. “I’ll never hurt you Christine”. Paha. Lies fell from your lips like water. I’m so disappointed in you but mostly disappointed in me. I finally gave someone else a chance to love me again, and it was someone that had once hurt me. Oh how I was fooled by the “new you”. But I do want to thank you for the best gift man can ever give. And I will love it with every ounce in my body. For you and for me. Farewell old dream, I am now faced with reality and I’m gonna tackle it because I’m strong enough. Loved enough. Even if it’s not a drip coming from you.